IELTS Writing Cambridge 17 Test 2

Cam 17 Test 2 Writing Task 1

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.

Step 1: Analysing

Type: mixed charts (dynamic charts)
Tense: Past simple
Unit: (1) 100 million pounds → (2) % ~ 10 percent

Step 2: Paraphrasing

S1 = The amount/ quantity of money given by/ from national government

The amount of police budget contributed by national government

S2 = The percentage/ proportion of money spent on/ allocated for/ distributed to V/ used for Ving
Paraphrasing!!!

Step 3: Outline

Introduction:

While the table shows police budget of an area in Britain and its sources, the two pie charts describe how this budget was allocated for three main purposes, measured in two years: 2017 and 2018

Overview:

Table: total police budget increased, and among three sources, national government remained the major source
Pie charts: salaries … accounted for the highest proportions in two years

Body 1

Looking at the table,

total: commenced at … and in the following year, rose gently by …
Among three main sources contributing to the budget, the national government was the major one, a minimal rise of … to reach …
Local taxes’ figures shared the same trend, a climb of … , ranking second.
Other sources: almost static at around ….

Body 2

As for the pie charts,

spending on salaries for officers and staff, despite a trivial fall from … to …, was highest
Recording the reverse/ opposite trend was expenditure of the police in this area for technology, growing from ,.. to … but it was still lowest.
The police still allocated 17% of the total expenditure for buildings and transport in each year.

Step 4: Writing an essay

The table details the police budget from different sources while the pie charts illustrate how much money was allocated for three purposes, measured in two years: 2017 and 2018

Overall, the police budget in that area increased after two years, and the national government remained the main source. As for spending, the amount of money paid for salaries of officers and staff outnumbered spending on technology, buildings and transport.

In 2017, the total police budget of the area surveyed was over 300 million pounds, which rose slightly by under 20 million pounds in the following year. Among the three sources, the national government contributed 175.5 and 177.8 million pounds in two respective years, a trivial rise. The amount of money raised from local taxes also climbed considerably by more than 10 million pounds to reach 102.3 million pounds in 2018. Other sources (such as grants) accounted for the smallest part, at around 38 million pounds in both two years.

About budgetary allocation, spending on salaries for officers and staff, despite a fall from 75% to 69%, made up the largest part. Recording an adverse trend was spending on technology which rose from 8% to 14%, but was still lowest. Spending on buildings and transport was unaltered at 17% in each year.

Written by IELTS Thanh Loan

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Cam 17 Test 2 Writing Task 2

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.

Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Step 1: Analysing

Topic: Children and technology
Type: Two-part question
Answer

Step 2: Paraphrasing

spend hours on their smartphones ~ spend too much time on cellphones/ phones/ personal phones ~ be addicted to .. ~ glue/ stick their eyes on … screens ~ abuse … ~ overuse ….
every day ~ daily ~ frequently/ regularly ~ on a daily basis
some children ~ several/ a number of youngsters ~ juveniles ~ the young

Step3: Brainstorming

Introduction

Several youngsters have become addicted to using smartphones. This trend stems from two main culprits and I assume that it triggers many adverse effects on them.

BD1: Why

smartphone ownership becomes more ubiquitous among the young

Reason1: parental control is not sufficiently strict. Some parents give their children/ offspring the freedom/ liberty to use phones in order to stay still & reduce their interruption (work, relaxation)

Reason2: a variety of temptations which attract/ appeal to children.

Eg: watch video on youtube, play games, use social media → addictive

result: abuse smartphones on a daily basis

BD2: Negative

health risk

+ stick their eyes on phones’ screens for hours → be shortsighted/ suffer short eyesight/ vision impairment

+ lead a sedentary lifestyle/ inactive lifestyle → obesity (obese), overweight

poorer academic performance

not pay full attention to/ concentration on their study → skip classes, not complete homework

bad contents (Eg: tiktok → full of short videos about …. not appropriate for the young age)

Result: be obsessed / embed in their minds & mimic anti-social or illegal behaviors

Conclusion

Step 4: Writing an essay

Several youngsters have become addicted to using smartphones. This trend stems from two main culprits and I assume that it triggers many adverse effects on their well-being and study.

There are some contributing factors to smartphone abuse. Firstly, smartphone ownership becomes much more ubiquitous among the young, for their study requires them to attend virtual classes, research and submit their assignments online, not least during the epidemic period. Secondly, social media such as Facebook or Tiktok have become a main form of communication among the young, so if a child does not regularly access social media, normally by their smartphones, they cannot constantly update their friends’ status or reels, which might lead to social isolation. The time using smartphones escalates unstoppably without parental control.

I opine that the excessive use of smartphones exerts many detrimental influences on the young. Chief among these are health risks. Because of sticking their eyes on the screens of smartphones for hours a day, they can suffer short eyesight and other vision impairments. Also, overusing smartphones discourages them from participating in physical outdoor activities, and the sedentary lifestyle is the culprit of obesity. Another shortcoming is poorer academic performance at school since they may be tempted by online games, videos on youtube or posts on social media and do not spend enough time reviewing and doing homework.

In conclusion, many factors, including new emphasis on online learning, the dominance of online interactions and the lack of parents’ surveillance, increase the time youngsters use smartphones. I view the trend deleterious to physical health and study at school for children.

Written by IELTS Thanh Loan

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